Am I a magnet for sensitive straight men, giving them just enough of what they desire until they can get the sexual attraction met by a woman? It does seem to be the case.
I think I understand why it is that I often feel used: I can never be enough for the men in my life. They are happy to associate with me and get what they want from me that they can't get from the women in their lives. But when the woman steps in, she has precedence over all, the sexual attraction drive kicks in stronger than any intellectual, emotional or friendship connection. One wants to go to the closing of an art exhibit until his girlfriend calls; another is planning to come over until he gets the offer of a date; another is interested in conversation until his desire for a woman supersedes the conversation.
Each recognizes that he can get more from a woman in his life than he can by having me in his life. Finished reading a book recently that had this quote:
"Having a reliable friend to watch your back is a comfort, but the consolation and support provided by even the best of friends is no match for what a loving wife can be to a husband, or a loving husband to a wife."Maybe it's time to associate only with men who are gay or who are already married. And maybe those of you close to me should help me find someone.