It gave me time to let my mind wander (as it does often, even without the invitation!). I settled on this thought regarding relationships:
It's not so much my loss that I don't have a boyfriend at this time. It's their loss, too.After leaving a friend's house, I think to myself, "He doesn't know what he's missing." When I leave the counter at the coffee shop, I think,"Too bad that fellow has missed out having a relationship with me." Driving down the street, I glance to see another fellow driving alone and I realize that his life is less for not having me in it.
Maybe it's selfish. Maybe it's self-defense. It certainly is ego. Yet there is truth in it, too.
Those guys are settling for less by not having me as their primary relationship. They would have a much more interesting and fulfilled, dedicated relationship had they chosen me.
I hope that's not all too much ego to cram into one post. But I'm happy knowing the loss isn't all mine. Those guys are having to settle for something mainstream and much too normal for my liking. I do hope that they like it and are satisfied. I imagine that they do and are.
(But I secretly tell myself that it is less than what I can offer.)