My ususal mode of dealing with confusion is to hole up, pity myself and try to plod along alone in my imagined sadness. This time I decided to call the guy and ask to talk.
A new approach for me; I'm not that good at being vulnerable.
Turns out after further conversation, we agreed that there is something between that feels to be more than friendship. Not that there is any more clarity or certainty in that. But by our not packing the emotions into a friendship box--which doesn't feel genuine at this time--I feel like I have a companion who is at least on my level.
I don't feel as alone in groping about this unknown landscape.