One more time on the old saw...
Is the trick to managing life in having shallow connections? Is that how people survive? I find it difficult to not hurt deeply when I connect deeply. Am I overly sensitive?
My friend and I spoke Sunday. I told him that it hurt me too much to talk to him this week, that I'd see him in November after my vacation.
"Okay," he said. Poof. No communication.
I guess I should respect that he is responding to my pain. But I wonder if it just is easier for him not to call or see me. I make up that I am the one struggling with the absence of our friendship. How is it that he can so simply disconnect?
We saw each other only once last week for five minutes in a convenience store parking lot. We won't see each other again until November. Is that enough, even as close friends? Somehow he managed to get together with friends who aren't going anywhere three times last week. That is part of what tells me that the interest and pain is mine and not shared.
I know: I should probably have years of therapy to untangle this twisted web of how I don't relate well to relationships.
Or I could just settle on going to the bars.