Thursday, April 03, 2008

Just before leaving for vacation (and confirmed by further reflection during), I came upon three observations about my life and life in general:
  1. The deepest attraction and connection I feel in life towards another person will not be reciprocated.
  2. Others will always turn to someone else when they desire a deeper, more meaningful relationship.
  3. Other people have their own lives to live.
Now before you start reading that as all down-in-the-mouth, let me say that you qualify to comment only if you have lived a dozen or more years (I have 18) of not being in a relationship or dating (your first 22 years of growing up don't count).

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Well, it has been 16 years since I was 22…
I have been in several relationships since then so I don’t know that I am qualified to comment or not but I do have something to say
I have many times in my life found myself completely flabbergasted that I could feel so strongly about someone who does not feel as I do! How is this possible?

But that’s not really the part that tears us up is it? We want to be valued by this special person or persons but they value more the friendship of another. Ouch! That is what always got me, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I be for you what you are to me?

And all the while, as we suffer the cruelties of unreciprocated love and affection isn’t there always someone right there in front of us asking the same questions about us, wondering why their want of friendship is not met by us. And would someone say “well, they have their own life and you yours”? Probably no?

Yes, people do have their own lives. Even in a union we each still have personal issues we tend to want to deal with on our own. Maybe this is where my relationship history leads to my lack of understanding because I have never been truly alone but I do know that because I am in a relationship I have been dismissed, for lack of a better word, as candidate material for a deep connecting friendship. People assume I have my own life I guess.

A friend of mine recently experienced hurt from a situation such as this and I hurt for them and offered my love and affection but it was not my emotional connection they needed and that’s ok.