Sunday, October 14, 2007

One Step At a Time

I attended a meditation last evening and was instructed to visualize the relationship I want. Immediately, visions of a home arose, awakening beside someone in bed, a life together, perhaps kids, etc.

Then I realized that this is step 2, the outcome of a relationship. Step 1 is to envision the person with whom together I can mutually create a shared life. Someone who now wants to be in my life and I in his. I must first visualize the kind of person with whom I want to create shared outcomes later. All of the home stuff comes after I am in the relationship.

X has so much of Step 2--what I want in a person with whom I can feel safe to create a shared vision--so much so that it is easy to jump quickly to that vision and see X as a part of it.

But he lacks a huge element of Step 1, of what I desire in someone: namely, that that person has an equal attraction to me, that he loves and desires me, that we share an excited energy of wanting to be together.

The person I desire, my vision of the person with whom I want to be, has a desire for me. X does not have that. Thus he is not the person I want because he lacks a major trait I desire and seek in another person.

I'll return to envisioning the man I desire, Step 1. That includes someone who can reciprocate. The home vision and life together, Step 2, comes later.

5 comments:

Odette said...

I agree with you, you have to ask the Universe to put this person in your path. I think that X was part of a desire for a friendship , someone to go out and have fun ect. It brooke your loneliness; cherish this friend, and everything he has to offer, and when the right person comes along, he will be there still and be happy for the both of you...

Anonymous said...

My marriage was arranged, love and adoration came 2nd...

Dennis Plummer said...

I'd be interested to hear more about your experience of an arranged marriage, if you care to share some.

Anonymous said...

you should "x" X and move on to someone better

Anonymous said...

nice tent. camp out by yourself & fuck the rest