Wednesday, October 10, 2007


A previous anonymous comment to a posting said that “whatever it is, it’s sex.” Well, actually, no; I don’t think so. I do agree, though, that sex is perhaps the most highly charged component in relationships.

In general, I can imagine boxes that hold stuff about my relationships together, physical sex and attraction being one of them. There are undoubtedly scores of little compartments within that box.

To move from generalities to the specific, I am really talking about my own relationships. Yes, sex is important and highly engaging and consuming. It can generate the strongest of emotions (and most bodies respond to what feels good, regardless of the giver). The attraction for me, however, is not merely physical for I find that people in my life quickly become more or less attractive as I get to know their personalities.

I figure that most humans are probably not 100% straight or 100% gay, but that we likely fall somewhere along a moving continuum. That’s because relationships and attractions are only partly informed by physical sex.

There is another box of pertinent stuff that informs my desire to share life with another person.


Anonymous said...

I doubt there's a "continuum". If there is, you choose to be on it where you want. It's a "tempest" for you b/c you aren't following God's plan.

Odette said...

I am so glad that YOU know God's plans.

Eric said...

Oh boy. I spy reductionist thinking...

I agree about the continuum. And besides, what do you do with people (like me) who are intersexed? Because of a chromosome translocation, I have both make and female chromosomes, causing a predominantly (but not completely) male body and predominantly (though changed through hormone therapy) female hormone profile. I was born both male and female, and without medical intervention, I still would not have been fully male or fully female - what people used to call a hermaphrodite. So I wonder how "anonymous" would deal with me. Since I have both male and female body parts, I can't be "totally hetero" whether I'm with a man or a woman. So am I one of those "born eunuchs" Jesus talked about? And does that mean I am condemned to a life of celibacy - just because a couple of chromosomes got switched in my genetic code?

Sexuality and gender are simply too nuanced to be put in some kind of "gay/straight" box.

And what about what happens very often in prison, or on Navy ships? Are those guys still straight, even though they're having sex with other men? Does the sex act make them gay, or does it take more to make a person gay? What about the gay-identifying priests, pastors, monks, and others who are completely celibate, and yet still consider themselves gay?

And if Galatians 3:28 is true, then there is no longer male and female, for all are one in Christ Jesus - and if that's true, why would God care about what people do with their little appendages?

I think Jesus did a good job of deconstructing gender, and showing us that our frameworks and traditions and limitations are basically bondage.

Odette said...

Very well said, Eric. Isn't it the goal, to find the complete balance within ourselves, the masculine and feminine? I guess you had a head start :-)